It had been a sad awakening..another monday had come and i had survived through my dire temptation to quit....it was tuesday....and God had to get me through this day...sometimes i found tuesdays more frustrating than mondays...neither at the beginning, nor at the end, stuck in eternity, it was a day as confused as i was...
Morning washings done, I slowly descended the mount to get lost in the crowd; a sound hit my ear deep hard...It was my watchman..in strong argument with the municipal corp workers..they'd decided to bless our community with a concreted road, and feigned God...My guard dint like it obviously...but the abuses that followed..were a torture to the ears..There was a heated discussions, with references to one's mother and sister and all kins possible, every nanosecond..Not one seemed to stop and all the world but me seemed to be enjoying the early morning show of one's vocabulary.
I mentally shut my ears and walked over to the bus stop...was it me or was the area noisier than usual today..? Bus arrived, swarming with school kids...and a fresh load of ear ache for the likes of me...the sound they generated...a buzz of the bees..or worse..the irritating gnawing drone of the mosquito by your ear, that wakes ya up..rather throws ya out from a much wanted sleep..God seriously, why me...?
Life was testing my ability to mentally turn deaf...and today i was being very bad at it...Half through my journey to work, a sudden shout emerged from the dusty backyard of the bus...and a return fired from somewhere closer..Oh no..not another irritated passenger, practising his list of abuses on the conductor..! But yes it had to be...The strange language, seemed stranger to my ears, with these men shouting hard at each other..A shower of expletives i believe..and i somehow felt drenched in it...What was happening..?
I had second thoughts of returning home..with such a beginning, nothing great could happen to my day anyway..!
Down and away from the never ceasing fire of shouts, i ran for cover to an auto...Swearing at myself for ever living to see a tuesday, I disclosed my destination and rested myself for the first time in the whole morning...Peace..!
And i was thrown out to reality with a jerk...Not another repeat please...! The driver of the car and my dear auto driver seemed to be enjoying themseleves, doing this...at the mid of the traffic junction...with all forms of traffic surrounding them from all directions, they were busy in their throw of rage at each other..Each claimed that the other had defaulted and they themselves were The God of traffic rules incarnate....Help me someone...Nothing more embarrassing than your vehicle getting caught in such a plight and you being the center of all this..Passerbys seemed to stop, get the matter of the situation in, stare into the auto at me, like i was the sole reason for all this happening, give a dirty stare and walk away..
Please let me die now...
I was totally lost in my own thoughts, searching for whom exactly i had woken up seeing, and was it from the left or the right side of the bed that had resulted in such a day. I woke up to a driver staring at me with a look that pushed me out of the auto at my office. Paid up...
And ran into my office like my tail was on fire..It was true to some extent...coz there were all the voices still screamin in my head...swearing abuses at god knows who...Into the lobby..Hit the lift...Settled at the cosy corner...and ran out into the 5th floor....and...Peacee..!!
What if the silent humm of the machine sent weird pricks at my ear...?What if the hard and hasty taps on the keyboard echoed to the end of the long hall..?What if the buzz of the AC and the occasional roar of the coffee vendor left me puking for a change...this was Bliss..!
For life was not one of Shouts and noices...
24 January 2006
04 January 2006
And a new year comes in...
Another new year has come..and gone..It is a newer year, with a newer me, in a newer place and newer people around. But there is something about it that never changes, the essence; The feeling of a new beginning that never fades year in and out. It brings with it an opportunity for improvement, room to clean up the messes of the year that went by and make up for all those dirty deeds of the past.
I always overflow with a new sense of energy every new year, strange thoughts run through my head and wonder if thats why everybody comes up with resolutions on the new year, coz they feel it too.. And I presume the level of insanity increases too, coz my list of things-to-do overflowes with the unimaginable.
This year saw some new year resolutions formulated in the deep dungeons too. To list a few, there was a resolve to buy a new guitar and try my hand at it come rain or storm. And there was that one that did something about chewing and biting more humane things than what was happening now. The one to beat was this thing about putting an extra watch on the exercise schedule and burnin down those impossibles. I went to extremes on deciding to get the forms ready and start saving India from all its shitty politics and hypocrisy. That couldnt be beaten by anything else.
Another big in the list that I intend to keep up with was the one about being more regular in Blogging, seem to be getting a hang of it and am liking it too. So the obvious would be for me to continue in the positive. Another thing that I wanna take up this new year is the fire inside for photography. Unlike other times were I've been treating much talked about interests as nto my kind, this seems to be really catching me up, come what may. So wanna go ahead and do something about it.
Published some of my pictures online recently, at Devilsaid Pics. Will keep updating.
Continuing with the new year mood, I also got real frustrated this new year, thanks to the city that i live in. Mumbai seems to be one place where the rich and poor alike know what they want to do and do just that. As I sat at home, with family and a good friend, I realised that I fit not one bit in this city. For here I was sitting at home, while the million others in the city roamed the city streets haywire and partied till dawn. Now I cant decide which side I'd rather be in but I just dont fit I know. It wasnt very bad though. A ride out in the night at 12 and an icecream treat after that was quite a start to the new year, i wont disagree.
I donot know whether life is any different now in the new year. Its the same viscious cycle of code, deploy, bug fix, requirement analysis and code. But the prospect of a new year is sure the sign of new hope, to start a fresh start
I always overflow with a new sense of energy every new year, strange thoughts run through my head and wonder if thats why everybody comes up with resolutions on the new year, coz they feel it too.. And I presume the level of insanity increases too, coz my list of things-to-do overflowes with the unimaginable.
This year saw some new year resolutions formulated in the deep dungeons too. To list a few, there was a resolve to buy a new guitar and try my hand at it come rain or storm. And there was that one that did something about chewing and biting more humane things than what was happening now. The one to beat was this thing about putting an extra watch on the exercise schedule and burnin down those impossibles. I went to extremes on deciding to get the forms ready and start saving India from all its shitty politics and hypocrisy. That couldnt be beaten by anything else.
Another big in the list that I intend to keep up with was the one about being more regular in Blogging, seem to be getting a hang of it and am liking it too. So the obvious would be for me to continue in the positive. Another thing that I wanna take up this new year is the fire inside for photography. Unlike other times were I've been treating much talked about interests as nto my kind, this seems to be really catching me up, come what may. So wanna go ahead and do something about it.
Published some of my pictures online recently, at Devilsaid Pics. Will keep updating.
Continuing with the new year mood, I also got real frustrated this new year, thanks to the city that i live in. Mumbai seems to be one place where the rich and poor alike know what they want to do and do just that. As I sat at home, with family and a good friend, I realised that I fit not one bit in this city. For here I was sitting at home, while the million others in the city roamed the city streets haywire and partied till dawn. Now I cant decide which side I'd rather be in but I just dont fit I know. It wasnt very bad though. A ride out in the night at 12 and an icecream treat after that was quite a start to the new year, i wont disagree.
I donot know whether life is any different now in the new year. Its the same viscious cycle of code, deploy, bug fix, requirement analysis and code. But the prospect of a new year is sure the sign of new hope, to start a fresh start
01 January 2006
Workplace of a new Kind.
It was a lazy November Saturday when around 15 of us from the SupportCentral Team decided to loosen up and spend some time together outside the office. 8am (pretty early for us in the general shift!) saw a few of us desperately waking the rest up to reach Destination Malad on time. Food was picked up from the canteen and carried over to ensure we never missed out on that.
We rode autos to reach Marve Jetty, to catch the steamer that would transport us to our Final Destination - Manori Beach. We missed the steamer by a minute and thought what better way to spend the delay time than with a game of beach volley! After a quick game to get us on our feet, we sailed over to Manori to Domonica's resort, where we had a room booked to dump all our belongings and rest our souls after the trip.
The minute we set foot on Manori we felt like we'd crossed boundaries and walked into a totally new world, untouched by the modern rat race and unaware of the mad city rush. Tall coconut trees lined the mud roads, and fish dried on road ends; koli women caught up with their whining children while their men toiled tough with the fish. It seemed worth every minute.
In the resort, we started out by winding down and danced our mid day to whacky numbers from the latest movies blasting out. The Ronaldos and Ronaldinhos were compromised in the football game that followed. The day also saw us walking around aimlessly in the lovely resort, some more dancing and playing the weirdest games any one could conjure up. The best part was us lying soaking wet in the beach, cooling the heat off. Some of us relived those lost childhood days, playing 'Shop', 'Four Squares' and the likes.
Never before had food tasted that fine, for we were exhausted after all the dancing and playing. We served ourselves enough to last the day through. There was a second round of games and a lazy walk on the beach post lunch. As the sun slowly found home near the end of scope, our minds relaxed with the silent lashes of the sea, thoughts wandering somewhere near the horizon.
All through this, time flashed by and we failed to realize it till it was time to leave. We retraced, back to reality, with an enriched mind and a rejuvenated body, ready to take on everyday life with a stronger zeal.
We rode autos to reach Marve Jetty, to catch the steamer that would transport us to our Final Destination - Manori Beach. We missed the steamer by a minute and thought what better way to spend the delay time than with a game of beach volley! After a quick game to get us on our feet, we sailed over to Manori to Domonica's resort, where we had a room booked to dump all our belongings and rest our souls after the trip.
The minute we set foot on Manori we felt like we'd crossed boundaries and walked into a totally new world, untouched by the modern rat race and unaware of the mad city rush. Tall coconut trees lined the mud roads, and fish dried on road ends; koli women caught up with their whining children while their men toiled tough with the fish. It seemed worth every minute.
In the resort, we started out by winding down and danced our mid day to whacky numbers from the latest movies blasting out. The Ronaldos and Ronaldinhos were compromised in the football game that followed. The day also saw us walking around aimlessly in the lovely resort, some more dancing and playing the weirdest games any one could conjure up. The best part was us lying soaking wet in the beach, cooling the heat off. Some of us relived those lost childhood days, playing 'Shop', 'Four Squares' and the likes.
Never before had food tasted that fine, for we were exhausted after all the dancing and playing. We served ourselves enough to last the day through. There was a second round of games and a lazy walk on the beach post lunch. As the sun slowly found home near the end of scope, our minds relaxed with the silent lashes of the sea, thoughts wandering somewhere near the horizon.
All through this, time flashed by and we failed to realize it till it was time to leave. We retraced, back to reality, with an enriched mind and a rejuvenated body, ready to take on everyday life with a stronger zeal.
22 December 2005
I wonder what the world is coming to..
My mind sat awestruck watching the tv. This should not have happened. It was meant to be an opportunity for the leaders to lend a hand of help. Those who lost the replaceables in the floods were supposed to get some refund at this event.
What was left was a melange of anguish and death. Around 42 people, most in their young teens, with blood rushing through their uneasy vessels, capable of changing the world into something; lost all of it. C'mon they died for heavens' sake. Has death become such a meagre thing for us mortals? With the fear of failure running havoc in their minds, these young bloods beat the time and place and all such alterables to earn death. They knew nothing of what proceeded. For there was tears shed, dreams shattered, cries wept, promises made, Politics ensued.
For what did the much-to-be blamed government do about it? nothing more than statements to appease god-knows-who..And to back them in their dirty exploits is the press...While channels on one's side showed family members weeping their hearts out and proclaiming in front of camera that it was the stinking government and the police to blame; there was the other side of the coin, with similar bereaving family members blaming their own kids for having rushed.
Is that all the value of human life.? That you can resort to politics at such junctures to stay safe of blame.? Why cant the Indian mass realise that it is high time they stopped playing second fiddle to the ruling party and the oppositions and to the media and whoever; and thought for themselves what they really wanted and felt. It is a democracy for hell and what is happening now is that with freedom of press exploited, so is the common man.. And the common man fails to understand this.
Grow up..! Now..!
Then there was the second shock of its kind. A girl is raped and murdered, i choose to say slaughtered to death, in Bangalore. The IT hub of India. Where is sanity now.? Have we reached a time where a woman cant work at her will, worry about timings and safety.? For the animal responsible was a man of duty,the one she saw even before her boss. Is technology catching up or are we moving back in time..? Oh !Technology is sure catching up; for circulation on the net were the pics of this kid after she met her dirty fate. Huh..!
To join in the list of things that got me writing this post was Mission Majnu...Inappropriately titled after the man who lived for love and martyred for love, this mission has nothing to do in the vicinity. On the negative, it was a drive, a clean-up drive they called it, undertaken by the police in Meerut to rid the beautiful gardens of love birds. Huh..! A process of maintaining the sanctity of the country i read. What resulted was women in uniform catching hold of innocent citizens and treating them like whores driven out of their asylum. The camera saw youngsters, most possibly good friends, or siblings or even married partners, beaten up to embarrassment, merely for them using their private time in a public place..! Democracy, I remember, is one of the main features of the Indian constitution. All this reminds me is of the crude images of torture that floated around the time US invaded Iraq, or the gruesome taliban.
I wonder what the world is coming to..!
What was left was a melange of anguish and death. Around 42 people, most in their young teens, with blood rushing through their uneasy vessels, capable of changing the world into something; lost all of it. C'mon they died for heavens' sake. Has death become such a meagre thing for us mortals? With the fear of failure running havoc in their minds, these young bloods beat the time and place and all such alterables to earn death. They knew nothing of what proceeded. For there was tears shed, dreams shattered, cries wept, promises made, Politics ensued.
For what did the much-to-be blamed government do about it? nothing more than statements to appease god-knows-who..And to back them in their dirty exploits is the press...While channels on one's side showed family members weeping their hearts out and proclaiming in front of camera that it was the stinking government and the police to blame; there was the other side of the coin, with similar bereaving family members blaming their own kids for having rushed.
Is that all the value of human life.? That you can resort to politics at such junctures to stay safe of blame.? Why cant the Indian mass realise that it is high time they stopped playing second fiddle to the ruling party and the oppositions and to the media and whoever; and thought for themselves what they really wanted and felt. It is a democracy for hell and what is happening now is that with freedom of press exploited, so is the common man.. And the common man fails to understand this.
Grow up..! Now..!
Then there was the second shock of its kind. A girl is raped and murdered, i choose to say slaughtered to death, in Bangalore. The IT hub of India. Where is sanity now.? Have we reached a time where a woman cant work at her will, worry about timings and safety.? For the animal responsible was a man of duty,the one she saw even before her boss. Is technology catching up or are we moving back in time..? Oh !Technology is sure catching up; for circulation on the net were the pics of this kid after she met her dirty fate. Huh..!
To join in the list of things that got me writing this post was Mission Majnu...Inappropriately titled after the man who lived for love and martyred for love, this mission has nothing to do in the vicinity. On the negative, it was a drive, a clean-up drive they called it, undertaken by the police in Meerut to rid the beautiful gardens of love birds. Huh..! A process of maintaining the sanctity of the country i read. What resulted was women in uniform catching hold of innocent citizens and treating them like whores driven out of their asylum. The camera saw youngsters, most possibly good friends, or siblings or even married partners, beaten up to embarrassment, merely for them using their private time in a public place..! Democracy, I remember, is one of the main features of the Indian constitution. All this reminds me is of the crude images of torture that floated around the time US invaded Iraq, or the gruesome taliban.
I wonder what the world is coming to..!
16 December 2005
A well deserved break..
I had been waitin for this break for long. 5 days away from the moan of the CPU; away from the tap of the neighbours keypad; away from the constant fear of a imaginary bug; away from the prospective bad tempered clients my seniors had warned me of; away from the artificial me.
Not that something dreaded had happened in the last few months in this much talked about industry; yet i feel i have lost me in the whole rat run. So this break was all the more wanted for the welfare of this soul within me. And God bless dad and harini who got this whole thing together.
A trip to Goa left my mouth watering; tough call though. So there we set out on Saturday mid afternoon on our journey to heaven and back. First point of touch down was Mahabaleshwar. But my thoughts went racing the minute i realised that it took us close to two solid hours to get out of the dull groan and hush of the city they call mumbai. I realised the wide spread of the mondane city life that has left most of us wanting for some fresh air. When we finally did get out I had to thank the stars; for every moment was worth it.
We touched base on heaven at close to sunset and the chill getting down our nerves was a fresh welcome. It reminded me loads of days spent in Kodai when in college. Those were times and i was getting them back for once. Had a little trouble switching from one hotel to another , till we finally found our abode; a duplex in the heart of the town; at the life of the market place. Perfect.!
After a quick shower we went for a walk; getting lost amidst the crouwd that had managed to gather itself in the market. Bouy! the head count was awesome, with people in all age groups flocking the petty shops and with a common intention of living the them they would normally not be back home. College kids buying junk jewelery, fresh honey moon couples sharing quiet secretive laughs and walking hand in hand, kids scrouting ahead of their parents looking for their best buy. It was a show of myriad colours, sounds and sights.
Personally i was caught by the sheer overflow of emotions in that small area. A long stretch of pathway trampled by people with worries of their own, troubles of their own, traumas to worry about; yet walking that way like they were the kings and princesses.
We did our part of shopping for things we would not have thought of owning otherwise. Shoes, sweaters, junk, artefacts, nuts and weird fruits; we got them all. Got into bed, tired and filled with anticipations for the day ahead. And it turned out to be worth the wait, with our guide for the day being a perfect sport. He took us to this lake with three rivers confluencing at one point. The ferry ride to the cave temple on one of the islands was a great trip. So was the water scooter ride; what if the guy sitting behind me held all controls? The feel of the cool lake wind blowing on my face was worth every strain. For starters, these guys have a knack of taking ya midway and demanding more money for an extended ride. Remember what drives ya and decide accordingly. We decided to shell the extra crap out for the ride to the edge of the lake, and i felt it was worth it(the one who earned it obviously thought it was a waste. What say?) But the young bloods had a rocking time.
Then there was the trip to the temple; with the origin of 5 rivers. Man it was awesome. Reminds me of the rich cultural heritage our country has; despite the pitfalls at every corner that every proud indian very readily points out.
The second day in the cool hillstation was our trip out. On our way out though we did the first plateau of my life. Panchgani Table top was worth every kick we got in the horse ride, every morsel of breakfast we had missed to be there. At first sight, the deccan had given the impression of an immigrant, dull and lost in hunger; hunger for the greenery of our good old western ghats that i was so accustomed to. But after that walk in Panchgani, I seemed to have developed a respect for these massive structures; living through rain and storm, unaffected by the cruelities of time.
They had to be respected for sure. The horse ride across the breadth of the plateau gave something that no new travel invention could have given. The honesty and innocence in the whole experience caught me the most.
To add up to the innocence was the great breakfast we had in the cave restaurant; amidst all the red rocks and the trailing monkeys. That bread omlette could let many other five star breakfasts for the run. We were also blessed by the mongoose(another first in the list of firsts!) and the man of hope in the world of mentally impaireds. Our adventure halted next at the paragliding terrain where a bunch of foreigners gave a ride off the cliff to the heavy hearted. Was very tempted to shell those extra bucks for a rush of adrenaline, but better sense eventually prevailed. Those guys must be having a ride of their lives. I will do it one day. I know i will.
Our trip down the hill, to other locations, was as expected a sad journey, of me wishing I dint have to ever go back.
But it is this love for far off things that keeps us going back right?
So does it for me and I keep going.
Not that something dreaded had happened in the last few months in this much talked about industry; yet i feel i have lost me in the whole rat run. So this break was all the more wanted for the welfare of this soul within me. And God bless dad and harini who got this whole thing together.
A trip to Goa left my mouth watering; tough call though. So there we set out on Saturday mid afternoon on our journey to heaven and back. First point of touch down was Mahabaleshwar. But my thoughts went racing the minute i realised that it took us close to two solid hours to get out of the dull groan and hush of the city they call mumbai. I realised the wide spread of the mondane city life that has left most of us wanting for some fresh air. When we finally did get out I had to thank the stars; for every moment was worth it.
We touched base on heaven at close to sunset and the chill getting down our nerves was a fresh welcome. It reminded me loads of days spent in Kodai when in college. Those were times and i was getting them back for once. Had a little trouble switching from one hotel to another , till we finally found our abode; a duplex in the heart of the town; at the life of the market place. Perfect.!
After a quick shower we went for a walk; getting lost amidst the crouwd that had managed to gather itself in the market. Bouy! the head count was awesome, with people in all age groups flocking the petty shops and with a common intention of living the them they would normally not be back home. College kids buying junk jewelery, fresh honey moon couples sharing quiet secretive laughs and walking hand in hand, kids scrouting ahead of their parents looking for their best buy. It was a show of myriad colours, sounds and sights.
Personally i was caught by the sheer overflow of emotions in that small area. A long stretch of pathway trampled by people with worries of their own, troubles of their own, traumas to worry about; yet walking that way like they were the kings and princesses.
We did our part of shopping for things we would not have thought of owning otherwise. Shoes, sweaters, junk, artefacts, nuts and weird fruits; we got them all. Got into bed, tired and filled with anticipations for the day ahead. And it turned out to be worth the wait, with our guide for the day being a perfect sport. He took us to this lake with three rivers confluencing at one point. The ferry ride to the cave temple on one of the islands was a great trip. So was the water scooter ride; what if the guy sitting behind me held all controls? The feel of the cool lake wind blowing on my face was worth every strain. For starters, these guys have a knack of taking ya midway and demanding more money for an extended ride. Remember what drives ya and decide accordingly. We decided to shell the extra crap out for the ride to the edge of the lake, and i felt it was worth it(the one who earned it obviously thought it was a waste. What say?) But the young bloods had a rocking time.
Then there was the trip to the temple; with the origin of 5 rivers. Man it was awesome. Reminds me of the rich cultural heritage our country has; despite the pitfalls at every corner that every proud indian very readily points out.
The second day in the cool hillstation was our trip out. On our way out though we did the first plateau of my life. Panchgani Table top was worth every kick we got in the horse ride, every morsel of breakfast we had missed to be there. At first sight, the deccan had given the impression of an immigrant, dull and lost in hunger; hunger for the greenery of our good old western ghats that i was so accustomed to. But after that walk in Panchgani, I seemed to have developed a respect for these massive structures; living through rain and storm, unaffected by the cruelities of time.
They had to be respected for sure. The horse ride across the breadth of the plateau gave something that no new travel invention could have given. The honesty and innocence in the whole experience caught me the most.
To add up to the innocence was the great breakfast we had in the cave restaurant; amidst all the red rocks and the trailing monkeys. That bread omlette could let many other five star breakfasts for the run. We were also blessed by the mongoose(another first in the list of firsts!) and the man of hope in the world of mentally impaireds. Our adventure halted next at the paragliding terrain where a bunch of foreigners gave a ride off the cliff to the heavy hearted. Was very tempted to shell those extra bucks for a rush of adrenaline, but better sense eventually prevailed. Those guys must be having a ride of their lives. I will do it one day. I know i will.
Our trip down the hill, to other locations, was as expected a sad journey, of me wishing I dint have to ever go back.
But it is this love for far off things that keeps us going back right?
So does it for me and I keep going.
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