Goad's own cundry !

Have heard them over and over. And it has become a second language now, with twenty odd years flooded by acquaintances with a similiar tongue walking in and leaving an impression. I dont remember when the initiation really happened. But the Mallu english does not bother me any longer. Most of the times, I barely note the difference. Quite similar to the Western American drawl or the Engligh polishness to the language having become a part of the everyday corporate lifestyle.

The oldest memory of the accent striking a mark was in school.

Dhe egzpanzion of dhe gayses in dhe bodle, coses dhe volyoom of dhe cundainer to be debled. Dhe sayme would happen if dhere was ya ligwid in dhe bodle.

The first time I heard that, I feared Chemistry would remain a mystery all my life. Unfortunately for the antagonists, that was not to be, and I eventually managed to put the Mallu ears on. So much was I atune to it, that when that same teacher, Ms Indira, I remember, asked me in a more lighter mood, 'des my Ohful mellu agsent bodher you yin underrstaynding Volyumedric Analysis?', I was quick to nod a stiff No.

Then it was the frequent visits to neighbouring Guruvayoor and Trissur vadakkunaathar, that ensured that the prodding 'marikko marikko' and 'nadakkatte' were as much a part of the dictionary as the typical tamilian 'vazhi vazhi'. 'Pazhampuri' and 'Puttu kari' were as much a delicacy as 'pathirpeni' or 'kuzhi paniyaram', thanks to the mallu tongue that stuck along for good. And who can forget the lazy afternoons at home, with Mohanlal in Baratham or His Highness Abdullah and some coconut stuffed 'unni appam' ?

The oneness with the neighbours was one of the reasons why classmates in High school, with bredders in dubei, and sisters werking in cole cendres were ones that really stuck for days to come. That one was a real test to my mallu know how though...A Cherian at school came up and flaunted her cuzzin sister. 'Oh no! note the doter of the ungle who werks in de coal fields. Its dat wun who fayled toice in cat last ear. She's joined a cole cender and yearns twendy dhousand a menth. I spent a day contemplating my chances of moving over to Kolar to make a quick buck, before I found out the coal cender was in Gurgaon instead.

None of this abridged or conveniently transformed version of the Queen's language could deter me from enjoying the onam saddi and the janda vadyam; we always celebrated vishu kani and made the pookolam. Goddess wore as much of the mundu as the madisaaru on festivals.

And thats why it was no big surprise to find an adipoli mallus union in coaledge as well. The agsent was obviously masked under a whole lot of coconut ego and lungi vanity. But who cares ? The tambis and the kandoos and the ghatis and bhaiyaas had their own smells and sounds too. And who said anyone was perfect !

Today, despite being in a global IT company, with a clientele spread across the globe, when I hear the local announcement system blaring, 'ol embloyees who wish to tayk dhe ohfis bes to anushekdhi neger, pleaz proceed to dhe baysment', in an english unmistakably overflowing with mallu, I simbly smile and remember Goad's own cundry !

PS: If this whole thing made only half the intended sense to you, you surely have missed a lot in life !