Winter of 99 !

My comfortable sleep was pushed back to hell by the unsettling shriek of the alarm. Minutes before D-minute, that weird unease from the body clock had told me that my time in bliss was up. I had begun to hate myself that very nanosecond. This shrill throwing me out of my world was only making matters worse. I hated myself for ever agreeing to such a preposterous task.

5 am in the winter of 99 in Bangalore was a dreaded time. Time when not even cockroaches cared to get out of their safe holds and put up with the shiver. But there I was, or rather had to be, my track pants on and shoes all tied; walking across the locality for my daily dose of mental torture.

I wonder which world had given birth to such a creature; my aerobic instructor. A woman so obsessed with looking good that she had managed to incur all my wrath. I somehow seem to blame her for not living my last teens to the fullest. As she counted our moves aloud with unwanted passion and drive, I wondered why I was putting myself through this. I liked myself. I loved myself infact. What if the ones around me hated the overweight fat ass I had grown to be.. I loved myself. So i couldnt take this outsider telling me what to do and what not to. She sure got all my wrath. Every count was a pain. Every minute was a torture. Every day was a punishment.

I gave up the day the ones around me realised nothing could happen of me. Oh that pain that plucked the innocence out of the prime age. Pushing people to be what they are not. Given a choice I am sure all of us would want to splurge on that mouth watering chocolate truffle; If only..!
Five years down , I walk to the gym on a winter 10'o clock. I burn adrenaline for two solid hours. Not an instructor to push my butt; no obsessive women to watch my back. Just me and my drive to find a better me.

I still love the way I am . But I'd love to be better. Thats all.!