Then and Now !

My memory fails me in this regard, but I know we've been together for long; as long as I can remember actually. It started of as a fascination as I had someone to play with. A lot bigger than those stuffed toys and the effects it gave out as a response to teasers were pretty realistic. Then moved on to someone I could bully around. Take all my bashes and still keep quiet.

Later came times when there was the enemy; competing for the same attention of the Gods. Life was peaceful till this moment then. All actions were closely watched and any reaction from any of the Gods deeply analysed for nobody should usurp my place close them right. This was not going well. A pink dress to them meant I had to get it too. But the enemy was getting stronger and bolder; bold enough to speak up and against.

This lead to times of physical anguish; where battles were fought to sort issues up. Blows exchanged hurt both parties and served the purpose of splitting lives up. No amount of intervention could clean the chits in this regard. Ofcourse when external enemies attacked we were one; for we knew we needed eachother's valor to save the day. But it went on.

Till one of us grew out of it and parted. Needs sent me distance apart and it somehow helped the two grow up. Conversations flown over miles sent out peace messages; messages of oneness. These merged into times were we together saw the real world; the one we knew nought of. We quielty amongst us realised that the enemy was far beyond the two of us and a lot of unity was needed to get us through. Thats exactly what we put in.

Minutes were spent discussing strategies for the downfall of the foes; hours in close union. Even in times when the Gods had to be opposed there was solace in one another; for our wavelengths matched closer than before. And thus years passed by.


Today as I watch her get off the escalator and walk towards us waiting, I remember our journey called life. The times we've spent together and away , that have in some way taught us more than one. And I am happy I have a sister to share the good and the bad till date. Thanks to the Gods.!

Winter of 99 !

My comfortable sleep was pushed back to hell by the unsettling shriek of the alarm. Minutes before D-minute, that weird unease from the body clock had told me that my time in bliss was up. I had begun to hate myself that very nanosecond. This shrill throwing me out of my world was only making matters worse. I hated myself for ever agreeing to such a preposterous task.

5 am in the winter of 99 in Bangalore was a dreaded time. Time when not even cockroaches cared to get out of their safe holds and put up with the shiver. But there I was, or rather had to be, my track pants on and shoes all tied; walking across the locality for my daily dose of mental torture.

I wonder which world had given birth to such a creature; my aerobic instructor. A woman so obsessed with looking good that she had managed to incur all my wrath. I somehow seem to blame her for not living my last teens to the fullest. As she counted our moves aloud with unwanted passion and drive, I wondered why I was putting myself through this. I liked myself. I loved myself infact. What if the ones around me hated the overweight fat ass I had grown to be.. I loved myself. So i couldnt take this outsider telling me what to do and what not to. She sure got all my wrath. Every count was a pain. Every minute was a torture. Every day was a punishment.

I gave up the day the ones around me realised nothing could happen of me. Oh that pain that plucked the innocence out of the prime age. Pushing people to be what they are not. Given a choice I am sure all of us would want to splurge on that mouth watering chocolate truffle; If only..!
Five years down , I walk to the gym on a winter 10'o clock. I burn adrenaline for two solid hours. Not an instructor to push my butt; no obsessive women to watch my back. Just me and my drive to find a better me.

I still love the way I am . But I'd love to be better. Thats all.!