Dreams and beyond...

I dont know if its the effect of the Paulo Coelho that a friend gifted recently.. But the last few days, i have been thinkin a lot..Now what was contained in that process is a tough choice..for there was a turmoil...a storm raged..where a million things were thrown in and out at the same time....

I remember days in school when i used to have clear dreams...I saw myself with a scalpel and blades, masked and gloved, working intently on the body in front of me...Now I wonder if thats where my destiny really lay..for I do nothing remotely related to my dream now...and I still dont repent it...So to say..I dont see myself doing that in my dreams any more...
A little later in college, I had dreams...There I saw myself lost...but sitting calm..in the midst of the lush jungle...a lens in my hand...trying to be god...one with the other creations I was...and those showed a fearless me...one not bogged down by worries of life...But yes...those dreams were there every night...they meant some thing..

Now, i sleep...and dont dream...the last time i remember waking up in the middle of the night, staring at the pale moon barely visible in the distant sky, praying for the dream that had woken me up to turn true, was a distant memory in the past..Thats when i think...Have I lost insight to life at all...

I had read that dreams are potholes to the future...others claim that they are a depiction of our heart's innermost desires...But mine are blank...Does that mean

I've lost touch of the future..? Or has my heart stopped wanting..?
Caught up in all the mondane activities, that make every day similar to the previous and no different from the next, I think..about what I had been and what I have become...

Quite well timed was this news that the friend shared with me...I had read it myself too..and sat there stunned for more than a mere minute...Every person who had been a somebody in NIT trichy, would have heard of Sidin Sunny Vadukut...An under grad from NIT to a post grad from IIMA to a fat pay check in those hot shot, sought after job profiles...he had it all needed for that typical lifestyle....So when he proclaimed to all who where even a little interested that he was quitting all this to chase his dream of writing, many were left thinking...

I was left wondering what had happened to my dreams...And I found the answers almost immediately...they had been right there, within me...waiting for an exit...So the next question was, when would that be...? When will they take over the control of my life from all the other trivial acts..?

Not right now I know...But pretty soon...For there will be one point beyond which your dream will push you till the end...take you past all negativities...

And it is that very juncture in life that I am waiting for..! So do a lot of us I know...