The pleasures that a trip out of normalcy brings is so vast that i can call it uncomparable to any other feeling in this whole world. It's close to being in love, having the first taste of ice cream or seeing a rainbow on a dusky cloudy day. Having gone through a quick succession of a simulated space shuttle launch, watched a humungous killer whale sky rocket like a puny bird and sat through the twists and turns of some man-made miracles, I suddenly feel all too small for this huge world. Such wonders we have all around us, breathing the same air and walking the same ground, and here we are, running the same track over and over again. If I lay low and take count of the life lived so far, there is not one moment to my credit that has made another's life worth it. Not one smile that I might have lent and not a joke that was worth a share. And yet, continue to wish each day in, hoping for it to be any better than the one gone.
As fingers stand stiff, pointing at directions where the reasons for this glum act may lie, my mind, the so called literate that it is, realizes that all directions lead into one common direction - the direction of the heart. No cause is more caustic than the one within, always more potent than the external. I quickly take stock of all acts in the past that have left my mind numb and wanting and realized that the source for all of this came back from the never ending out of ill feelings that the heart houses. True!
It is with such a dawning that I swear an oath under my breath, to live each moment for its truest worth and not once look at the outward for comfort or soothing. The minute the word seeps in, the soul rises to a newer level - not to sound all philosophical here. But, I feel a sudden spring in my step and a jiggle in my speech; a smirk at the end of my lips at all points, a feeling of being aware of a well kept secret. The magic potion seems to be working afterall.
Such a realization brings with it a host of other ideas and emotions as well. I look at all great minds that have walked in and out of my life this far; My memory of friends goes back to the days in the Pink City when I made him my friend at the end of the very first day at school. He is a ghost in my mind right now, his face a haze in space, but a warm feeling is what overwhelmes my mind. Thoughts then quickly brush over to the builder's daughter; we did our first phase of growing up together. The girly chitter and the weekend jabber still stand afresh. Next came a horde of friends, thanks to the parents deciding to stay put for a while in the garden town. Kandu dude and dudette will surely stick on, good times afterall. The silent walks back home with the lady were fun, the five hour long phone conversations with the guy were constant company when back home; they sure left God and Goddess worried.
Then walked into my life, the little wonder, with all the mirth and laughter and optimism that she brought in with her. She was the answer to the God's want for a white soul; complete, raw and outgoing. She flooded all our lives with what she had in her.
Growing up years were in full swing, when the mind went in search for more knowledge. The rustic innocence that MuKa possessed complimented with my openness to all walks of upbringing left us glued in till date. A year later, RaSu walked in, and the threesome was some company. The long nights that we spent, lying awake under the stars, waiting for that occasional shooting star, recounting mystic tales from far-off lands are still afresh in my head. The never ending
squabbles for reasons unknown, patched up by make-ups untold are a dream in themselves. Dodo came and life was a different ball game, so to say. Juggling between girl friends, life and him was a telling tale of perseverence I should say; some strings were lost, some made stronger, but the four years went by in a jiffy.
Fully grown up, independant and curtailed, I sought out a friend and found a twin, a part of me that was bred and brought up in different surroundings but beat like one. The times spent together over dal, chicken and coffee, discussing music, guitar and the latest read in town leave a sparkle in the eye. Moments were more mystic when the call of duty was given up for the sole purpose of being the tyrant; these still leave Howard Roark fuming :) . But such were our ways, a show by the master on work days which was a must-attend, a rock concert for the junkies and a post concert walk in oblivion down the city lanes gave a high kick. Road side junkies we must have been, the ones that follow the great heart's dream and live the ways of the wild.
I feel old now, when I sit and let such thoughts swarm my mind. I have decided to hang on to a few of these relationships till my grave, while I pass by a few that are as fleeting as the snow. It strikes hard that it is these ties that have kept me rooted till date. They have been the branch I held on to when thrown into the raging gorges, the spikes that used in my uphill climbs.
To friends and family; a bow, a warm hug and loving prayer.!
