It has happened once again...It had in the past..and now a repeat..for many it was a deja vu...For all those who've lived through the serial blasts in '93..all those who survived the floods on 26/7....This was a repeat...a chill that run through their veins...bringing back home the point that they weren't that mighty after all...
The ones dead at the end of a tragedy were still the luckier ones..For the rest have to live through the trauma of waking up each night having been blown apart all over again...Watching themselves live the life of a defective...The dead are better in more sense than one in this case.
Moreover, to be helpless and watch all the scene unravel infront of your eyes is a bigger trauma than to be there...All of us have that urge in us to get out and do something when we watch injustice rule around us...But very few can let the frustration within us find a vent...Very few can really make a difference..There are a few,like me, who had to depend on their more mobile counterparts to inform them that the bomb scene was as close as a few kilometres away from them...That bombed a second time in the deep hollows of the heart...
I left for home earlier than usual, because of a concerned company that wanted to make sure that their labourers were not compromised in such acts of terrorism..True many were dying out there..but the little we can do for the safety of our employees, we shall make sure its done...they said...This humane endeavor saw me stuffed into a cab with many others of my kind...as we rode the city, ensurig we'd reached home one after another...
It is a fit of fate or what you may call...But I seem to complain the least about being the last one to reach home always...There I sat that day, riding to another colleague's home, when a huge traffic snarl waited ahead of us..All we could see ahead of us was a sea of bumper lights and the Mumbaikar's patience of waiting at a jam for hours without a single sign of complaint...I sometimes wonder if they ever knew where the existence of a horn in their vehicles...Not that it made any difference though...Smart I should say...
We seemed to move at a snail's pace...with cars and truckers acting like carts...Life seemed to stand still...move backwards at some moments...And then I saw it happen...He looked like he had returned from from his evening prayers...I'd seen him before...The typical cap and long trailing robe..that has been, more often than not,misused in today's movies to signify the quiet bomber, who lives amidst us, manufactures destructives like they were biscuits and throws them around like farmer and his manure...I couldnot mistake him for sure..It had to be a terrorist and he was running towards us..with great agility..and a valor i saw in those eyes...
News had beamed all morning about grenade attacks in Jammu...Innocent unsuspecting tourists brought down by pieces of scientific innovation that ensured that your family remembered you for good...Quick memories of mine lashed through my mind...Distant thoughts of friends from school and college ran past...the face of my dear computer science teacher laughed at me mockingly....
Through all of this the man had almost reached my window...I turned to my driver, in search of someone who would share a similar fear...foolish..like looking away would make matters easier.!!I should listen to people when they say i needed to grow up...This was it...I saw the end...I would be blown apart too...If only I had insisted that I wanted to go home first.!! If only i hadnt left office at all...It felt like heaven now...in the final moments of my life...and...
Mam...please have some water...long traffic jam...will get late...the bomb blast you know..everybody is scared...and tired...here..some parle g for you...
What...? I turned to the face that had mouthed it...It was the same bomber...He pushed a dirty Bisleri bottle into my hand..the other held a huge plate overflowing with biscuits...In a state of shocked, I nodded a No Thanks...he vanished as quickly as he had appeared...I quietly watched him in my rear view...as he moved from one stalled vehicle to another...offerred his treasure..and moved on...
I looked ahead and saw many more...there were older ones on the divider who ensured that these delivery boys were stacked all the time...And these little angels ran to every new vehicle that inched forward..and gave their bit of service...I was more ashamed of myself than shocked...A thought that hit me for long was the smile they left on the faces as they moved on...
At that stretch in time, we all might have been sharing the same feeling of insecurity...a thought of doom would have run through all our minds..Yet a few decided to let their fears rest and make sure they made a difference to someone's life...Kudos to them for their presence of mind...Cheers to the sense of brotherhood that still exists amidst us....
12 July 2006
They expected this...I dint...
4th July, 2006
It was a fever I was avoiding to the best of my effort....I did not want to do anything close to what they wanted me to...I had won the day before..But today looked like one of no return...Having made sure all the precautions were taken, I was ready for the worst...Goddess made sure that my young eyes hadnt missed anything mandatory...With all my straps up tight, I ventured out into the unknown...As I descended from my haven I realised that I had made the worst mistake of my life...I should have let go of any positives I held about myself and stayed behind...What if the mass treaded on.? But here I was repenting every minute...
It would have been two micro seconds into my venture, when I was wet from tip to toe...As I stood there waiting for my carrier to transport me to the battle field, my mind raced...It longed for brighter pasteurs...Yearned for the comfort in the breeze...No I had made the mistake of my life...I repented every minute...
In the vehicle....My fellow warriors seemed well equipped...The lashes all around seemed not to worry them...One even spoke of her exploits last time the war was on...She seemed content with the learnings...Why was it only me who looked inadequate for this..? And I knew there was no turning back the minute I stepped foot on base camp...
I could see a sea of trouble (pun intended!!) lie ahead of me...Other warriors quietly treaded forward, protecting themselves from the wind that razed past...As I hopefully looked at the other option available, any remaining hope left me...The only way available was what had left me here and that sure dint want me back...Not many want to tread the path once done..and I was that same person now....Turned my back to it and sent out a silent prayer to the heavens...
With no choice at hand, I lept into action...My guard in position, I lurged forward....A chill ran down my spine when the water touched my feet...As i moved ahead, more of it went under water...My nerves needed warmth now...The water gushed like a convict on his last run for life...The barricade we had built to protect us gave up within minutes of being put to use...We were out in the open at the enemy's mercy now...All I could see ahead of me was water and more water...memories of nights when i woke up with a chill, having dreamt of drowning in the raging waters, flooded back on me...The calmness of the people around me irritated me all
the more...I felt like jostling each one of them with my force and forcing them to return to comfort....This test was fruitless...Why take it...?
I saw water everywhere...and i wondered what creatures might quietly rule these territories...I didnot belong here and I knew it all the more when in it...The end seemed nowhere near and I kept heading forward....I waguely remember a piece of respite somewhere midway, when my feet touched dry ground...only to be flooded by an inundation caused by the red vessels...all the small pleasures in the world are volatile...Leave you craving for more...A fellow companion offered a word of comfort...encouraged me forward...I felt like giving her the smirk and questioning, 'for what purpose, mortal..?'..Thought better of it and smiled on...
At one point I felt I had no hope of looking up at all.....my eyes lay rooted to the bed, to ensure I wasnt sucked in by a whirlpool of sorts...I had heard of many heros who had to give their lives up to these terrors that loomed deep under our feet...At places, the snail would've been faster...for he wouldnt have to worry about drowning am sure...It was after almost an hour of this endeavour that I looked up to see light...A dry patch of ground...and the same continued henceforth...
Did it mean the end was near..? My legs hurried through the remaining and Yes..! I was through...I stopped, took a deep breath and looked back at what had been me for a long time now...Yes, the floods in Mumbai were taking a toll on normal life...
With thoughts blaming the stars, the BMC, my maid's kid's school principal, that lady in red in the news yesterday and a million other things, I entered office...drenched to the tip..and the AC dint help either....
It was a fever I was avoiding to the best of my effort....I did not want to do anything close to what they wanted me to...I had won the day before..But today looked like one of no return...Having made sure all the precautions were taken, I was ready for the worst...Goddess made sure that my young eyes hadnt missed anything mandatory...With all my straps up tight, I ventured out into the unknown...As I descended from my haven I realised that I had made the worst mistake of my life...I should have let go of any positives I held about myself and stayed behind...What if the mass treaded on.? But here I was repenting every minute...
It would have been two micro seconds into my venture, when I was wet from tip to toe...As I stood there waiting for my carrier to transport me to the battle field, my mind raced...It longed for brighter pasteurs...Yearned for the comfort in the breeze...No I had made the mistake of my life...I repented every minute...
In the vehicle....My fellow warriors seemed well equipped...The lashes all around seemed not to worry them...One even spoke of her exploits last time the war was on...She seemed content with the learnings...Why was it only me who looked inadequate for this..? And I knew there was no turning back the minute I stepped foot on base camp...
I could see a sea of trouble (pun intended!!) lie ahead of me...Other warriors quietly treaded forward, protecting themselves from the wind that razed past...As I hopefully looked at the other option available, any remaining hope left me...The only way available was what had left me here and that sure dint want me back...Not many want to tread the path once done..and I was that same person now....Turned my back to it and sent out a silent prayer to the heavens...
With no choice at hand, I lept into action...My guard in position, I lurged forward....A chill ran down my spine when the water touched my feet...As i moved ahead, more of it went under water...My nerves needed warmth now...The water gushed like a convict on his last run for life...The barricade we had built to protect us gave up within minutes of being put to use...We were out in the open at the enemy's mercy now...All I could see ahead of me was water and more water...memories of nights when i woke up with a chill, having dreamt of drowning in the raging waters, flooded back on me...The calmness of the people around me irritated me all
the more...I felt like jostling each one of them with my force and forcing them to return to comfort....This test was fruitless...Why take it...?
I saw water everywhere...and i wondered what creatures might quietly rule these territories...I didnot belong here and I knew it all the more when in it...The end seemed nowhere near and I kept heading forward....I waguely remember a piece of respite somewhere midway, when my feet touched dry ground...only to be flooded by an inundation caused by the red vessels...all the small pleasures in the world are volatile...Leave you craving for more...A fellow companion offered a word of comfort...encouraged me forward...I felt like giving her the smirk and questioning, 'for what purpose, mortal..?'..Thought better of it and smiled on...
At one point I felt I had no hope of looking up at all.....my eyes lay rooted to the bed, to ensure I wasnt sucked in by a whirlpool of sorts...I had heard of many heros who had to give their lives up to these terrors that loomed deep under our feet...At places, the snail would've been faster...for he wouldnt have to worry about drowning am sure...It was after almost an hour of this endeavour that I looked up to see light...A dry patch of ground...and the same continued henceforth...
Did it mean the end was near..? My legs hurried through the remaining and Yes..! I was through...I stopped, took a deep breath and looked back at what had been me for a long time now...Yes, the floods in Mumbai were taking a toll on normal life...
With thoughts blaming the stars, the BMC, my maid's kid's school principal, that lady in red in the news yesterday and a million other things, I entered office...drenched to the tip..and the AC dint help either....
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)